Thursday 24th July 2008

In my office all day writing recipes and working my way through at least a million emails. Or was it two? Actually it was three.

I popped my head above the computer and realised that I had missed a fabulous sunny day, so Daisy and I decided to find a pub by a river for supper. We found one - a beautiful place for a pub, but unfortunately I have just discovered, run by a bunch of despots.
We want your money, but don’t expect service with a smile and whatever you do, don’t even think about enjoying your food in our lovely garden by the babbling brook.

I ordered scampi and chips for two with a side of onion rings. Obviously from the diet menu! When the order arrived it was just the scampi and chips.

Where are our onion rings? I enquired with a smile on my face.

What onion rings? They’re not on the ticket. (Slight accusatory tone) Do you have your receipt?

Yes, but just the card receipt. I promise you I did order them. Maybe the chap behind the bar forgot to press the button. He was busy. I definitely said Onion rings.

Ok, I have to speak to my boss. (chubby man with attitude)

Boss comes over.

You ordered onion rings?

Yes.

Well, they are not on the ticket. Let me see your itemised receipt.

I only have the credit card one.

Oh, well you should have the other one. We always read the order back when you give it.

He did, and he said onion rings.

Do you want them now? It wasn’t on the order, so you obviously didn’t say it.

Ok, at this stage I am afraid I may have slightly lost my good mood. Needless to say I mentioned to the chubby boss man with attitude that I wasn’t trying to steal an order of onion rings and dupe them enormously. I was just enquiring where mine were.

He, I am afraid has forgotten (if he ever had it in the beginning) that he is in a business that is there to make people happy. I’ve worked in this industry since I was sixteen and it has given me a fairly clear insight into what I and other paying customers expect, require and most of the time deserve.

So Daisy and I, suitably chastened ate our soggy scampi and awaited the arrival of Hussy Sue.

Sue got onion rings.

But her son made the mistake of picking up the tomato sauce bottle from inside the pub, (you are only allowed sachets outside) and had it snatched away from him. It was then replaced by twenty sachets of tomato sauce.

He is awaiting his ASBO for being so naughty.

Recipe for Oven Baked Fish, Chips and CIDER BATTERED ONION RINGS with as much home-made tomato ketchup as you could possibly want. Ever. - Available Soon.