Monday 21st July 2008

Job number one. Clear up cat pee in old fireplace. Order logs to fill the now empty old fireplace and to cover up smell of disinfected cat pee.

Job number two. Glare at Honeybear, a lot whilst pointing at the fireplace.

Honeybear was once a very sweet ginger kitten with her own fan base on UKTV Food/Great Food Live. She was filmed in my garden while I was cooked, and used to receive her own emails from besotted viewers.
Honey went on to have five beautiful kittens. She did what some women are accustomed to do (that’ll be me) after childbirth - proceeded to put on weight. Honey’s last weigh in was a stone and a half. Please believe me when I say she only eats diet food...no one else does, including the vet.
She is still sweet, and I do adore her, but she has the hideous habit of peeing in the old fireplace. And for that I glare a lot, but it makes not a blind bit of bloody difference.

Job number three. Go to village shop to buy apples to put into pudding that I am cooking for the first time in my QVC cookware.
My samples arrived this morning. I cannot possibly explain just how excited I was when I un-wrapped the parcel. Actually I can. I squealed, did a turn of my kitchen, phoned anyone that was in, squealed at them, they came around, squealed and did a turn of my kitchen and then we celebrated with slug of my frozen elderflower vodka. (my elderflower vodka amnesty didn’t last long!) They look perfect. Pink and Blue with my recipes printed on the inside. Flip the dish over and my new logo shines out. It really is thrilling.

Job number four. Make the pudding for Annie and Susan. Annie is my agent, from now on to be known as Agent Annie. And Susan is a PR genius. We are to plan the QVC campaign. But not before we have eaten ... a lot.

Girls cannot work on empty tummys. This is a theory I have been working on for many years. I believe I could write a thesis on it. In fact, maybe I will. This will of course include returning to university and being surrounded by supple young rowers/rugby chaps. In fact that leads me to...
Job number five. Apply to university. Preferably one that does sport science.

Job number six. Cook all the samples from the QVC food range that is launching in October so Agent Annie and PR Susan and I can fuel our brain cells.

All looking and tasting delicious. All eaten in the sunshine in the garden.

Agent Annie has bought gorgeous baby Jake with her. He is twelve weeks old and scrumptious. With Jake, the food and the sunshine, we forget to discuss the PR campaign until two.
Told you ladies can’t function without food.

After tartlets, fairy cakes, eccles cakes, the ready meal range in its entirety, pies, sticky toffee and chocolate pudding and of course my QVC dish pudding, we feel we are ready to launch me and my food on the poor unsuspecting public.

Recipe Apple and Raspberry Pudding. - Available Soon.

Job number seven. Open door to Robyn and Sue. Two members of the knitting hussey (long story, read on). Ask them to make tea and feed Jake whilst Agent Annie and PR Susan and I finally do some work.

Job number eight. The most arduous of the day. Retire to the hammock and have a small nap to give me the strength to write today’s entry. Hammock time is also my special recipe time. I come up with some of my best ideas when I am swinging gently in rose scented breeze (how am I doing?!) listening to bird song and watching the clouds dance across the horizon. Hey, I can also write romantic fiction – can you do this at university too?